The Beginnings of Becoming the Pastor's Wife

Today I have returned to my blogging roots and posted the intro to Becoming the Pastor's Wife on The Anxious Bench

For those of you who don’t know, my life as a public historian began in 2015 when I became a regular contributor for the religious history group blog The Anxious Bench on Patheos. I wrote steadily there until just last year. It is still my favorite history blog and I am so excited to return today. The Making of Biblical Womanhood began on The Anxious Bench, and I love that the first words of Becoming The Pastor’s Wife will begin there too.

Check out my entire post today here (and sneak peek below): https://www.patheos.com/blogs/anxiousbench/2024/08/the-beginnings-of-becoming-the-pastors-wife/

“I still do the bulletin.”

She was the wife of a retired small-town pastor. We stood next to the booth sponsored by her church, watching as volunteers served hot dogs to children and firefighters at the summer festival. “Our new preacher is good, but he isn’t married. I’ll do the bulletin until he gets a wife,” she said.

My husband was standing close behind me. I heard a muffled sound of laughter as he turned and walked away. The young preacher wasn’t even married, but his future wife already had a job.

“Oh,” I said. “That is kind of you.”

Unlike my husband, I can keep a straight face. It is a ministry survival skill. Part of me wanted to laugh with him, but the other part was just bemused. Never mind who this pastor’s future wife would be; never mind that she might have a career of her own; never mind that she might hate administrative tasks. It was assumed her high calling was to serve alongside her husband; her high privilege was to do what the church needed her to do.

She would become the pastor’s wife. This meant, among other things, that she would do the bulletin.

My daughter chose that moment to interrupt, tugging on my sleeve. She wanted a hot dog and needed me to hold her winnings (melted candy tangled with pencils and wristbands in a plastic firefighter hat). Fulfilling my role as mother was an acceptable excuse to leave a conversation—well, to leave almost any situation—in the world of white evangelical Christianity. So I used it. 

Years have passed since I walked away from that conversation, following the short legs of my child as she ran toward her dad. I can’t remember what happened next. I can’t even remember the name of the retired pastor’s wife.

But I have never forgotten her words."

You can see the entire post today at The Anxious Bench

You can find Becoming the Pastor's Wife at these links, or anywhere books are available:

Baker Book House: https://bakerbookhouse.com/products/598817?utm_source=meta&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=bz_becomingpastorswife_bethallisonbarr_meta

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Pastors-Wife-Marriage-Ordination/dp/1587435896?maas=maas_adg_F1AC68569661E7235B518FC9A0290243_afap_abs&ref_=aa_maas&tag=maas

 *Excerpt from Becoming the Pastor's Wife used with permission by Brazos Press.