"Unmaking Mary: Shattering the Myth of Perfect Motherhood"

by Chine McDonald releases today in the UK; when it releases in the US, you will want to read it

I got to meet Chine McDonald, and her editor Joanna Davey, for breakfast in London just a few weeks ago.

I knew of Chine McDonald before I knew her. She is a regular contributor to the BBC (you should check out her documentary on the Black Madonna!), formerly served as Head of Community Fundraising and Engagement at Christian Aid, and currently is the director of Theos, the religion and society think tank in London that “stimulates the debate about the place of religion in society, challenging and changing ideas through research, commentary and events.” I had the honor of being named with Chine (and several others) to the long list of the Michael Ramsey prize in 2023.

I was not at all surprised when her book, God is Not a White Man, progressed to the short list for the award. I had read it in one sitting and when, a few months later, I received a request to read the manuscript for her newest book, Unmaking Mary, I did not hesitate.

Let me give you a glimpse of what it is about:

“For two thousand years, the Virgin Mary has been depicted throughout art, literature and culture as symbolising the perfect mother: chaste, beautiful, meek, mild and white. These supposed virtues and symbols have penetrated not just Christianity but wider popular culture; and contributed to harmful views about motherhood and what it is to be a woman.

In this part-memoir, part social and theological commentary, Chine McDonald deconstructs the myth of perfect motherhood and shines a light on the dark side of parenting. From birth trauma to post-natal depression, from infertility to the mental load, the motherhood penalty and pressures on women to be and have it all - especially in the church - this book attempts to liberate motherhood from the chains in which it has been placed, reconstructing a more authentic, grace-filled way forward for the most important job in the world.”

Not only was it every bit as good as her first book, but it connected with me in a powerful way. So I agreed to write the foreword, something which I rarely do. I am so honored to be a small part of the release of this beautiful and wise book into the world that I wanted to share with you some of what I wrote (with permission from her editor). In perhaps the highest praise I can give—this is a book that will set you free.

In prose as vivid and beautiful and startling as the Shrine Madonna, Chine McDonald asks us to take another look at the Mother of God. Instead of as a paragon, McDonald invites us to see her as an ordinary woman whose broken brown body, covered in stretch marks, bleeding and leaking and tired, is anything but perfect. To help us see Mary from this different perspective, McDonald traces the rich, complexity of Marian history, from medieval through to modern, bringing the Mother of God down from an unreachable pedestal. No longer does Mary startle us with her unattainability, burdening mothers with shame about who we think we should be – the mum who snaps back into her pre-pregnancy jeans a week after birth, who loves breastfeeding, and revels in staying at home with a house full of children instead of secretly longing to return to the job she left behind. Through McDonald’s words, Mary stops pressuring us into unrealistic conformity, but rather stands before us as a broken woman experiencing all the pain and anguish of motherhood, including the death of her child, yet still finding hope in the justice of God.

In perhaps my favourite line, McDonald explains that ‘natality is a radical act, when all around is death, brutality, destruction and hopelessness’. The body of Mary, like the body of all women, breaks and bleeds; but it is also her body that offers hope of a better world. As I stood before the Shrine Madonna that day so long ago, I remembered how medieval sermons repeated over and over to their audiences that God chose the body of a woman to bring salvation to all people.

In the same way, Chine McDonald reminds us of the beauty and holiness of our female bodies – our broken black, brown and white bodies – because ‘it is here too where God lives’.

Congratulations, Chine!!!

Chine McDonald, Unmaking Mary: Shattering the Myth of Perfect Motherhood. Hodder & Stoughton, 2025.

Amazon UK

Amazon US (kindle available now; hardcopy in 6 weeks)

Bookshop

Waterstones

Barnes and Noble

and everywhere else books are sold……..