Becoming the Pastor's Wife Matters for a time like this

And how it is going one month before launch including how to get a signed copy

“How the heck do you get Kamala Harris or Hillary Clinton elected president when you have 16 million Southern Baptist who believe that women do not belong in leadership over men? The impact of complementarian theology has shaped our political current atmosphere. I hope that’s also another thing I get across in this book. As well as how did we elect a sexual predator—when we have 16 million people believing that male power needs to be protected.”

Yes, I said this on Preacher Boys podcast just last week. Granted, I was coming down with flu at the time and probably that contributed to me not pulling punches. Since the reel has more than 22k views on IG and considerably more than that on TikTok—not to mention the comments (some of which are wild)—I seem to have hit a nerve.

If I had the chance to say it again, I would modify 16 million as 13-16 million (the SBC was around 16 million in first decade of 2000s and today is around 13 million, although if you add in the numbers of non-denominational evangelicals who are very SBC-like, the numbers spike back up) and I would clarify that Harris and Clinton are just examples of female candidates. My point was how the heck do female candidates have any chance of being elected when so many millions believe in a theology that teaches women belong under male authority.

And I stand by it—not just because I *think* so but because evidence suggests it is a correct assumption.

Evidence such as from my forthcoming book Becoming the Pastor’s Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman’s Path to Ministry which builds an argument from over two years of research from five different archives and 150 pastor wife books, not to. mention scholarship ranging from biblical and medieval to early modern and modern.

What I found is that, despite clear historical evidence showing the existence and acceptance of women’s “pastoral” authority throughout church history (check out this preview of my chapter “When Women Were Priests”), white evangelical Christians—as exemplified by churches in the Southern Baptist Convention—have ignored that evidence and glorified a dependent leadership role (the pastor’s wife) that does not have a biblical correlation while vilifying independent leadership roles for women that do have biblical correlation. I also found that these attitudes have significant consequences for women, both inside and outside the church: from economic (not paying women for their labor) to sexual (shaming victims and protecting abusers) to spiritual (denying women’s spiritual callings and forcing women who do not feel called into a ministry role).

Finally, in research this book, I found one of the most moving stories that I have ever encountered. I have the privilege of sharing it with you in this book. It isn’t a story anyone has told before, and it is a story that will drive home the significance of my argument.

If The Making of Biblical Womanhood impacted you, be prepared for Becoming the Pastor’s Wife to mobilize you—especially after you get to that final chapter (Spoilers!).

If I haven’t caught your interest yet, then

maybe this review by Publisher’s Weekly will: "Provides a blistering critique of the narrowing options for female leadership in the evangelical church. . . . A powerful indictment of an unequal system."

or this one by The Baptist Standard: “Barr doesn’t disparage pastors’ wives or the role of pastor’s wife. Rather, she seeks to situate the role properly.”

or this one on NetGalley: “A powerful, challenging, and ultimately hopeful book that seeks to offer better paths forward for the church.”

or this one by Aimee Byrd: “Barr’s book stands out because her style guides the reader to think critically. To look at the way we use our language. To not only think about intentions, that may sometimes have been good, but at impact. To challenge our ingrained ways of thinking and let ourselves look at Scripture again, look at history again, with our “biblical womanhood” glasses off. Not only that, though. Barr’s heart shows in her writing. She wants women to step into the freedom that we have in Christ.”

or this one by Kristin Du Mez: “Powerful doesn’t begin to describe it. It is gutting. On the surface, it’s about the role of the pastor’s wife. But it’s really about so much more than that. In Beth’s trademark fashion, she draws on her extensive historical expertise to show how out-of-sync contemporary evangelical ideals of female leadership are with centuries of church history. She weaves this historical narrative seamlessly together with her own experience as a pastor’s wife and as a scholar. Then, she employs her expert research skills to track down chilling accounts of what protecting male power has meant for Christian women.”

or this podcast I did with Faithful Politics:

or this podcast I did Preacher Boys:

or you can check out this excerpt and amazing shirt that my interview with Broken but Beloved inspired:

(and I have at least 24 more interviews coming out, so stay tuned!)

or perhaps this excerpt:

So, if you are interested, I encourage you to preorder. Not only do you get the best price, but you get a chance at a signed book (if you are among the first 1000 to preorder at Baker Book House) and preorder gifts (for multiple copies).

Also, if you preorder, you will have the opportunity to sign up for the Launch Team which will start this Sunday—first for my substack subscribers before it is opened more broadly.

Finally, I want to tell you bout a podcast coming up that was born in the research for this book. It is called All the Buried Women and it is debuting with the support of The Bible for Normal People and my brilliant co-host Savannah Locke shortly before my book release. Y’all, it is a 5-part miniseries that I guarantee will grip you. You can follow on IG and Threads for updates and be on the look out for a preview.

I hope you are hanging in there during this volatile time. I know sometimes it doesn’t feel like there is much one person can do, but let me tell you, sometimes just reading a book and sharing that book with a friend can do more good than you will ever know.

Oh, also, I have some exciting The Making of Biblical Womanhood news coming up too, so stay tuned.

Excerpt from Becoming the Pastor’s Wife: